I've been single for about 3 years since my previous relationship. Time passed so quick. I wanted to rush things and bounce back quick, but oh see how far I've come! Not gonna lie, it still haunts me and it still part of everything that has shaped me to who I am today.
This year feels different. I finally am able to say that I'm in a better place. I feel like I can start this year with a clean slate. I've been trying out dating apps (or app) but I've not found much success with it. I find it really hard to connect with someone through just texting. It's weird, but somehow things become more stressful and I find it difficult to see someone for who they are when I meet them through the app.
Then the cruise happened! It was so much more fun than I thought it would be. Perhaps we've all been just too deprived of a getaway, but I really enjoyed myself and I feel like I'd definitely go again if I had the chance. I'll leave that for another day, maybe. So I got a chance to talk to this girl on the cruise. I thought she was really cool when I first talked to her. Okay, I'll admit it, she talked to me first. I managed to strike up a digital conversation after the cruise and I thought it was pretty unexpected. Let's get one thing straight, I'm pretty sure I made it known to her that I was interested in getting to know her. And we all know what comes next, she turned it down in an instant. At least she was really smart and polite about it though! That made me more impressed actually. So I backed off.
What I really wanted to convey through this post is that I'm thankful that this happened. It's been a while since I felt that strong urge of wanting to get to know someone. Compared to dating apps which always feels forced, this felt so natural. Even though it didn't turn out the way I hoped it would, but it excites me that I'm able to feel this way again. For the past 3 years, I thought I'd never feel this way again. This might sound weird, but I really have to thank her for this. It felt new and exciting for me. It gives me hope that it is still possible for me to fall in love with someone.
My thoughts are still pretty much all over the place, just because there are quite a few conflicting emotions. So that's it for today. Bye.
