Just got home from taking the Individual Physical Proficiency Test(IPPT) today. Haven't done a blogpost like this for awhile and gosh it feels so weird. Anyway, this year's IPPT was a special one. Not that getting gold gave more money, or that anything special happened but it held more significance this year.
9months ago, the usual group was ramping up our training in preparation for our IPPT in April. And in April, circuit breaker happened and most activities were halted, IPPT was no exception. It didn't mean that all the training was for nothing, but the motivation was lost. I stopped training as hard as I would've and that definitely affected my physical standard.
Then somewhere in September they announced that IPPT can be resumed and we immediately took our phones out and started booking. Much to our surprise, slots were taken up pretty quickly so we had to act fast. That also meant that we didn't have much time to train. I didn't have much time to train. The thing is, the rest have always been in pretty good shape and gold was pretty much secured. I, on the other hand, was on the edge. Things had to fall nicely in place, statics have to be pretty much perfect and I had to run a 11min 2.4km in order to get gold.
1month into the training, we did a mock IPPT and I ran 12min for 2.4km. I started to feel a bit panicky. Self-doubt started to kick in. Time was not on my side and I had to put in more effort. Increased running sessions from once per week to two, and my usually confident static stations felt unsecured so I trained for that too.
Cut till today, I managed to get 86points for IPPT, that's a gold. Even when I was walking towards the army camp, I was still doubting myself. I really didn't know if I could get it. There were 2 questions that I kept asking myself, "How badly do I want to get gold?" and "Will I be okay if I got silver?". Self doubt is something that I always have to deal with my entire life. It's one of my struggles in life. It's very rare that things happen my way, and I was always taught to think of the worst-case scenario and prepare for it. Confidence has never been my strong suit. So I needed something to remind me of something very important.
That thing, or rather that person, was Kobe. Earlier this year, Kobe Bryant passed away in a helicopter crash along with his second daughter Gigi Bryant. I got to know Kobe 2 years ago and that was the first year I managed to get gold for IPPT. The truth is, getting gold for IPPT is not a big deal for everyone, but it was for me. When I first took 1.6km for NAPFA in primary4, I failed and I was in the TAF club ever since. I've always been a chubby kid struggling to pass my NAPFA. Getting gold was a big deal for me. This year, it was no different. I wanted to do well in this physical test because it is my own way of remembering Kobe. Kobe inspired me to a better version of myself everyday. I translated this mindset into my training, into pushing myself to my physical limits. It would've been an ultimate disappointment if I were to fail today. On the way to the army camp today, I was listening to interviews he did in the past. That gave me a lot of courage and a lot of strength.
Thank you, Kobe. Even though you're gone, you will forever be an inspiration to me. I miss you, Kobe.
