Wednesday, October 2, 2019
This marks the end of my 7th day in the hospital.
I haven't said much today because they inserted a tube from my nose to the stomach to drain out fluids. It's supposedly to ease the stomach. I was told that if everything goes well, I could've left in 3-5 days. I had a lot of hope to return home within that time frame. Now that it's already the 7th day, I'm beginning to worry if it's something more. '
Honestly I don't mind the place. There are people to 'serve' you who are just one button away, facilities are fine, feels like there's air-con all the time, pretty lucky that i got a ward that's really quiet, nurses are nice. But staying here means one thing, I'm not well. It means that there's something wrong with me. Everything else hasn't hit me yet, this hits the hardest.
Why is it taking so long? Am I too weak? Is the issue bigger than what docs claim to be? Did the surgery go well? Am I not doing enough?
Seriously, what's wrong? It's so frustrating. I'm supposed to be healthy and strong, that's what i aimed to be for the past 2 years, and that all crumbled in a few days.
This is really getting to me. It's taking a toll on my soul and mind. It's taking a toll on the people around me too. I hugged my mum before she left, she cried. I didn't think I would too. Guess it's really tough but i just hadn't realise it.
I needed to rant. I needed to talk. I blame that tube down my throat.
Brian
11:06 PM
