Saturday, January 23, 2016
The past few posts have always been about me. What i feel and a little of what i think.
I guess i'll do a post about you today.
To you:
The past few weeks have been confusing because i didn't have the courage to do something that i only came to realise today.
I didn't dare to ask what you wanted me to do.
Partly because i was afraid if there's no problem, by asking that, there would be one.
This is why i needed to know what you're thinking.
Then i'll know how to better draw the line, and how to respond to you, in a way that makes it comfortable for us as friends.
The thing is this, maybe since your birthday, i've never really felt that you've treated me as a friend.
Everytime i asked about you, the reply would be cold.
Only when we talk about kpop, then there's a longer conversation.
To me, that's dangerous if we were to remain as friends.
You aren't a friend that i only talk to because we have common interests.
How will a friendship last if it's based on something they have in common?
One day, i might stop liking kpop. One day, i may not be interested in apink or soshi anymore.
What will happen then?
We start to drift apart because the friendship was based on something that couldn't last.
I don't want that to happen, because you're not that kind of friend to me.
You were someone who understood me, knew what i needed and was willing to get hurt in the process but still smiled after what i did.
That's the person you were to me.
That's the awesome friend that i had.
You probably won't read this till awhile later.
You shouldn't too, at least till when you're feeling better.
I know you need your space, so everything is fine for me.
If what you said affected me as much as it did a few months back, i won't be doing my God any justice.
After all, i did give up everything for the God whom i believe in.
That should be the thing that matters most.
I've had friends give me a lot of advice but every single night, i lay on my bed thinking about what i should do.
Because i realised, ultimately, the decision lies with me.
You should think about that too. What matters most to you right now?
Friends can only advise, but it is up to you to make the decision that matters to you the most.
Even if it goes against what your closest friends say, you know what's best for you.
I'm sorry that everything i did made you feel the way you do now.
I'm sorry that i've taken away a part of you that i'm not even worthy of.
And if it makes you feel better, we've both lost something in the process.
Yet, i'm thankful that you plucked out the courage to say what you said.
I've been asking myself what's the best thing to do every single day, that's why i felt so helpless and so alone, because i couldn't find an answer.
Now, i'm able to do something that helps you. So i'm glad.
I was happy because you were honest with me and that took my mind off a lot of things.
I'm happy that i'm able to do something that will make you happier.
Thank you. I hope you feel better soon.
Sincerely,
The stupid and ignorant boy who doesn't have a clue:)
Brian
9:51 PM
