Tuesday, January 26, 2016
I know something's wrong when i don't enjoy food anymore.
It feels like i'm eating for the sake of being alive, for satisfying that hunger.
The magical feeling of eating good food is gone.
And when i'm done eating, i just feel like puking.
What's happening to me?
Well at least there are still other things that i enjoy, singing, playing the guitar, meeting people who are happy to see me, just to name a few.
Maybe i'll be able to spend less on food now lol
But to be honest, how much i eat depends on the mood i have. When i'm happy i tend to eat a lot.
Yall can imply vice versa.
It doesn't mean i'm sad, i'm just confused and mostly worried.
Worried about what? I won't say but those who are close to me, yall know.
Why do i hide things now?
I wanted to be as clear as crystal, where everyone sees me for who i am.
That's not gonna happen now, there are certain things that i have to hide.
But be rest assured, if you're willing to open up to me, i will too.
That's who i am, i reciprocate.
If someone's nice to me, what reason do i have not to be nice to him?
It just doesn't make sense.
It's a struggle everyday to find myself.
Picking up the pieces as i go.
One of the pieces that i'm desperate to find is the part of me that wants to make people happy.
I'm sorry yall, it might be difficult for yall to read this because it's so messy.
This has to be one of the posts that is completely all over the place.
My mind is, that's why the post became like that.
And at the same time, there are certain things i cant say here anymore.
Who am i?
Who does Brian mean to you?
Who does Brian mean to me?
One step at a time. Doesn't matter how big, as long as i'm moving forward.
Brian
12:53 AM
