Monday, January 18, 2016
Been sleeping so late the past few days that it's hard to sleep early now even though i'm tired.
So here goes.
I'm worried. Worried about alot of things.
Worried about school, worried about who's the girl that's gonna be in my life, about her salvation, about my dad's salvation.
One of the key factors that made me not go into that relationship was because of my dad.
I cannot bear to have another person so important to me, being someone who's not saved.
I don't want to live everyday knowing that i won't ever see that person again after he/she dies.
That's way too painful.
And right now, worrying about my dad's salvation is even more real.
Recently he's been complaining that he aching all over even though he's not moving around much.
And he's been talking to me for the smallest of things.
As though he hasn't got much time left.
I'm super worried but at the same time, can't do anything if he doesn't want to say anything.
If i'm gonna lose him, i'd rather be able to know so that i can make it count when it still can.
I don't think i can handle it if it comes too suddenly.
When it happens, i will wish for someone to be there for me.
Yes, i can find comfort in God, but my heart will yearn for someone physically there for me.
Someone that i can cry in front of, someone that i can tell everything to.
Yes, i still wish that person could be you, but if you're not a Christian, you'll never be able to fully understand what i'm going through.
And it'll be hard for you to comfort me.
That being said, it hasn't happened yet.
What matters more now is how do i bring my dad to come to know this amazing God that loves us even though we do everything that He hates. The God that has the power to save us.
So, what should i do now? I feel alone and helpless now.
Brian
12:08 AM
