Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Change.
Somtimes it happens really fast, and sometimes so slowly you don't even see or feel it.
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
Whether you like it or not, things can never stop changing.
Different people react to change differently.
Some people adapt fast, others not so much.
Some people are optimistic about change, others not so much.
Things don't always change for the better.
There are times when a person thinks he's going through the worst-case scenario only to realise that the worst is yet to come.
There are those few times when things really do change for the better but he's still never content.
Change is constant.
I just have to deal with it better.
Brian
12:22 AM
Sunday, December 27, 2015
How am i supposed to feel?
What am i supposed to think?
Why is everything so damn hard?
I wish i had a program that can tune everything to the way i want it to be
Then i wouldnt have to worry about feeling a certain way,
Or thinking about something i shouldnt.
I keep trying for things that i know is impossible.
Am i stupid?
Things arent the way it used to be before,
Right now i think it never will.
Brian
8:42 AM
Thursday, December 17, 2015
There has been so many thoughts on my mind recently.
Having been to one church camp and another going on now, it's tiring.
I would consider myself an extrovert, but maybe this is too much for me.
Some alone time would be good right about now.
But i hate it when there's something i have to keep to myself.
Often i just wish there was someone whom i can just pour everything out to.
Someone who knew me, whom i can rely on.
I just wanna know what exactly i should do to make everything better.
When the future is so uncertain like it is now, i can't help but to feel afraid, confused and lost.
Brian
1:45 AM
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
When things end, it just gives more space for the start of new things.
That includes problems as well.
Where should i go from here? I don't know.
But i know by doing this, i'm making myself vulnerable to a lot of things once more.
By doing this, it means i must be prepared to be hurt again.
It might not be in the same form or same intensity but it is bound to happen.
I have to respond in a better way this time.
Brian
6:58 PM
Monday, December 7, 2015
I wanted to make a post a few days back but was so busy with my cousin's wedding and preparing for church camp that i got quite lazy. So here it is.
A lot of things have happened in the past few months.
It happened so fast that i could barely take a step back to gather myself.
I hope everything is gonna get better from now.
I can't say i've completely forgiven myself.
One day, the wound will become a scar.
It wouldn't be painful anymore by then but still be there to remind myself of the pain.
People think that pain is a bad thing.
It really isn't.
Pain reminds us of how weak we are, it humbles us.
Only when there's pain, happiness becomes such a beautiful thing.
There's reason in everything, we just have to figure out what it is or wait to let it reveal itself.
It's definitely getting better right now and i hope it is for you too.
3 months were too long a time and i'm sorry it took me so long to figure everything out.
Now i'm really thankful that we can become friends again.
I wouldn't have asked for it to turn out any other way.
Day 88
End
Brian
8:04 AM
