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Saturday, March 31, 2012

So this was the highlight of my week. Could've won but bronco was just too strong, they had a freakshow player=.= tiring week i have to say. never been so on in army before. retook ippt, participated in coy games and ne presentation, there was drills com. Everything was over in a flash, but now my body is kinda messed up. One more week till POP, abit too fast huh?

Brian
4:13 PM


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Woke up at 0420. Finished breakfast at 0515 and now we're back in bunk trying to sleep. Kinda lame imo. Monday was coy games preliminary rounds, we barely scraped through. Today's the finals, i really want to win.

Finally got my silver for ippt.

There's still drills com practice when i have a super smelly long 4.

Recruits' night was boring imo.

10 more days left in tekong.

Guo Qiang is whining cos he lost his jockey cap again haha

Somehow, i don't really like to talk nowadays. Weird.

Brian
5:22 AM


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Today is thanksgiving day. What do i give thanks for? And how will that change me?

Brian
10:33 AM


Saturday, March 24, 2012

Argh i need more time.


Brian
11:56 PM


GG. Woke up at 6.30 and i cant seem to go back to sleep. Why so weird ah, i only sleep 4 and a half hours leh. Zzz now gt some form of a haedache. Gonna try and sleep again...

Brian
7:19 AM


Friday, March 23, 2012



THIS IS SOME MAD VOCALS! BRUNO MARS IS REALLY DAMN GOOD! gg i haven't had this feeling in such a long time. SERIOUSLY DAMN ZAI! SIAOOOOO

Brian
10:17 PM


On my way back home now. Was a fun day with section 3 (&4 because we went to the same place to eat HAHA) ate alot but wasnt feeling too full and that was a good thing! Cos we had a little lan session and after i went to buy a pair of jeans and a shirt with me allowance. Oh yeah! But i know i shouldnt be indulging in this too much if not i'll not be saving any money. Oh well i kinda need the jeans though, most of them are oversized now :D

Gah i really cant play fps games, always getting owned! Hmm through all these small cohesions, i really hope one day i'll have the chance to bring them to church. They are a special bunch to me and i've had a few chances to speak to them about the gospel. As of now, its still kinda hard but i won't give up.

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day as well because i'm gonna flick with hudson, sheng and teng tomorrow morning den there's OT at church den after that i'll have to choose between a movie. Dunno which movie to watch leh. Hmm, act of valor or hunger games? Any suggestions?

Brian
5:58 PM


Got 7hours+ of sleep but i'm still feeling kinda tired. Weirded?

I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance.

Brian
11:04 AM


Bioclock set at around 7+ now. Feet feeling superrrr sore now. Body aching all over, but hey i survived through a tough week! Ippt den 16km route march and soc on the same week. It was quite mad, seriously. I almost gave up for the soc but jiahan motivated me so i carried on. Haha thanks jiahan! Crazy guy, cramps and wasnt feeling well but survived through the week as well. Damn tough.

For some reason, this week felt super long. Felt like 1week plus because we were doing somewhat of high key events everyday. No matter what, already bookout le and there's section outing today! Gonna go out with the crazy bunch. Finally not having fun in army HAHA and we're gonna eat some buffet zi char style with dim sum OHHH YEAH!

Oh and yesterday's night sky was a darker shade of blue compared the usual sky. Kinda cool.

Brian
9:32 AM


Thursday, March 22, 2012

Got back to our bunk at 0045 this "morning" it was well worth it though! 16km finished yeah! Apart from some pain in the toes, abrasion and muscleaches everywhere i'm good! Abit tired also ah. was a crazy trip up and down tekong, the only thing i felt good about is that i managed to push myself to cheer throughout the march consistently and there's no big change in my voice! simon also says that i've got a strong voice and it'll be a waste if i don't at least pick up singing as a hobby. well i've got the interest in singing but i really don't think i'm good at all. i'm just another person who likes to sing that's all haha morale was unexpectedly high yesterday also! we were all so pumped up for the march and we were smiling while doing the warm up. realised that this is superrrr important. high morale means we can march longer distances. we almost died at the 8km point during our 12km route march. but this time round people were tired but the 16km was much MUCH more bearable than the 12km route march. One surprising thing is that the field pack was lighter O.o so weird.

Anyway we are so into the POP mood now. BMTC roar, infantry song, throwing our jockey caps up in the air wooooo! got an outing tomorrow with my sectionmates as well so fun! next week only has one high key event which is the battle inoculation course. they say got to leopard crawl like mad and its gonna get super dirty. ahhh but that's next week, don't care first because today is... THURSDAY! when we get to bookout!

When i say Brian you say...

Brian
7:49 AM


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

No silver :(

but good news is! pass,silver and gold don't have RT this week! oh yeah! but ah i missed silver one 1 pullup. all others silver standard already :( its okay there's another ippt next week and i'll get my silver for ippt by then! Got to play some frisbee tonight but ah we had to reduce the team from 16 people to 9 people. 7 main team and 2 subs, so i may not have a chance to get into the team le BUT its not finalised yet so i'll still keep my hopes up for it!

I'm so worried about the 16km route march tomorrow :\ we were dying the previous time which was only 12km. ahhhh perservere! after the route march den can look forward to booking out on thursday! woohoo! Many things to do this weekend, will i have enough time? we'll see we'll see. Lights out soon, today was a good day. Gotta sleep early and tomorrow a good one as well.

Oh yeah and i met wx at the cookhouse 3 times today! which means breakfast, lunch and dinner! super cool. I wish everyday was like that... oh wait NO everyday in army is no go! HAHA

Brian
10:06 PM


Monday, March 19, 2012

today was good! Well maybe due to the fact that there's IPPT tomorrow. waking at 445. SO EARLY! but aiyah used to it already. there was a sneak peek as to what will happen during OC night and recruits night. Seems kinda fun! definitely looking forward to it. confirmed already, booking out on thursday! but the 16km route march is on wednesday ahhhh! and there's some infection in between my toes which makes walking kinda hard. Please pray for me! 16km isn't gonna be easy grrrr oh well something happened which made me lose motivation to get silver tomorrow. but NONETHELESS i'm still gonna get ma silver. YEAH! at least try ah. looking forward to this weekend also. Gonna be a long weekend which i haven't had in a LOOOOOONG time. Tomorrow will be a good day as well. LETS GO!

I'm so gonna miss my sectionmates. They're awesome.

Brian
8:43 PM


Sunday, March 18, 2012

Blogging in camp again. Jiahan is singing ni bu zhi dao de shi by wang leehom beside me now. HAHA we're having some admin time now and people are just slacking around talking about getting into the LAW FACULTY, bunch of zai kias. And they were debating just now super exciting but i cant be bothered LOL Oh well i want to sleep early but my section is super active. Apparently there isn't SOC tomorrow, its just a whole bunch of slack activities. A BIT not used to it ah, but i'm happy. Because i THINK ippt is still on tuesday TIME TO GET MA SILVER! feeling pretty confident, just hope i am on-form on that day.

I really need to say this. I miss you.

Brian
9:25 PM


Choir today was fun! Just that i'm feeling alittle tired right now zzz gonna book in again soon. More or less used to it already. If every week was slack i dun mind spending it in tekong to be honest. Its a nice place, really. Somehow i feel very reluctant coming to church recently. I always have rt and i have very little time to do the things i want during bookout. This shouldn't be the way! Hey Brian, remember how much u missed coming to church during your confinement period! I really need to stop spending so much time on my games. Gotta sleep earlier too! Have been sleeping so late this week erghhh tired.

There's soc tomorrow, ippt on wednesday and 16km route march on thursday. At least these are the confirmed events. I'm pretty scared of the 16km route march. 16KILOMETRES! alamak must tahan cos after that will most probably be book out YEAHHH! okay time to listen to some music. Seeya!

Brian
3:28 PM


Saturday, March 17, 2012

RT was super slack la HAHA. Lights out ytd was 0000 so we just went in to PARTEHHH. Okay not that much. Don't know why there's tekong cough and it seems like its gonna take super long to recover. I can't sing as well anymore :( if not for that yesternight will be so much fun! The pt wasn't that tough today also, but that also means leas weight loss! Ahh but okay la since we ran non-stop for 25min on thursday. Woah that was kinda crazy, i was running at my usual 2.4km speed thoughout. At the end really feel super cui haha. Oh man ippt's on tuesday, will i be able to get a silver this time?! Yes! Okay la, pretty confident this time round.

The sun goes down, the stars come out.

Brian
2:44 PM


Friday, March 16, 2012

Was watching the news and bedok bus interchange appeared. Thought of the time when we had an outing at jiemin's house. It made realise that time is really passing very fast now.

Enlisted for 7weeks already.
Wx has already been in the army for 4weeks.
Zixin went back to Adelaide for 4.5weeks
Jiaying went back to New Zealand for 3.5weeks.

I really miss the Dec/Jan period when we had outings every single week. Its something that makes me sad and happy at the same time. Once again, i got reminded that you guys are a blessing to me.

Will be looking forward to the next outing with everyone once more :)

Brian
7:05 PM


The sun goes down,
the stars come out.
But, did you realise?
Stars are always there.

Well this week in camp aint a bad week at all! Got loads of admin time and things weren't really physically demanding. It was mentally demanding though, because i failed to get marksman and had to reshoot. WHYYY! too noob already HAHA but still the toughest thing of the week was, SOC. That aint too bad yeah? YEAH. So i'll be going back to camp later for RT. Dumbest thing ever. Worst thing is, there isn't any bus service from the jetty to pasir ris for tomorrow's bookout! Oh well, take bus bah. RT's usually quite slack, so i'll just be going back for the sake of going back.

Many things left undone, procrastinating, hopefully not due to the lack of faith.

Brian
4:27 PM


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Raining so heavily in the morning today. People are marching along their corridors due to the rain. Kinda funny because we can see them from our bunk and its pretty retarded. 5more minutes and we gotta go down to clean our rifles. Boring. Well, at least its slack. Wearning admin attire is so awesome as compared to wearing SBO. Today will be a good day, lets go!

Brian
8:21 AM


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

GUESS WHAT?! BLOGGING FROM TEKONG! HAHAHAHAH just finished my live firing and man was it BORING! We spent most of the time waiting and waiting just to shoot like 16 bulllets. I failed yesterday and had to go back today. But now i've successfully gotten my marksman and its good to chillax back here in coy line! Pretty much stocked up on snacks in our bunk now. Gt some M&Ms and sweets. Some comfort food when we get back to bunk at night. I hope today is gonna continue to be as slack as it is because it feels REALLY GOOD! Although encik has been busy confining people for the lamest reasons ever. Sigh, better don't talk about it. After field camp, our bunk really feels so good. Had quite a long QT today over at the live firing range. Indeed, God lifts you up when things are looking down. Don't worry, for He is in control of everything!

Brian
5:14 PM


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Finally. FINALLY I'M BACK FROM FIELD CAMP! YEAH! Bookout never felt so good. This feels much better than booking out after confinement. The toughest for bmt phase is already over and everything else seems so no kick right now. Time really passes very fast. I'm already more than halfway through my bmt phase. Too fast. I like my sectionmates so fast, we're just so bonded right now and everyone's super nice! I'm just really glad to be in my section. Within a short 6 weeks, we're able to bond this much, its just amazing.

I'm beginning to enjoy more and more things in life. Even here right now, being able to sit on something DRY and SOFT is a luxury. Being able to bathe IS a luxury. Being able to change to a new set of clothes everyday is a luxury. There's just so many things i'm beginning to enjoy now. No matter how insignificant it is, how little it is, i see the benefit it gives.

Two things i've learnt.
"Prayer is the source of strength."
"Laughter is the song of experience."
Quoted from somewhere which i don't know.

Brian
10:09 PM


Sunday, March 4, 2012

Because i have a heavenly Father that has loved me, is loving me now and will love me forever.

Thank you God, for loving me, a sinner.

Brian
4:53 PM


Almost time for me to leave for pasir ris again. This time round its gonna be field camp. I'm still scared. But what lingchung and wanzhen said is right, i shouldn't have those negative thoughts, i should be positive instead. Its gonna be tough, i'll just look towards God whenever i'm feeling down. Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness. Alone. That's far worse than what i'm gonna be experiencing. So what should i be afraid of when i have God with me? Have faith, Brian! Have faith!

Brian
4:12 PM


How?

Brian
9:44 AM


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Many questions going through my head now.


Will i continue being useless like this?
Will i continue to worry my mum like this?
When will i start to learn how to prioritise?
Do i really know what i want in life?
Will this really be a turning point in my life?
How am i gonna carry on my NS life from now on?
Will everything really be okay in the end?
How long will this torment last?

I haven't been a good testimony for God.
I haven't found what i wanna achieve in life.
I don't know what my future will be like.
I'm sorry, dad. I'm sorry, mum. I've let you down once more.
I hope you two don't worry too much, although its pretty much uncontrollable for you two.
I'm really sorry. Really really sorry.
I've let God down as well. But once again, i will ask Him to continue to guide and lead me because i know He is in control of everything.

Brian
7:06 PM


Not going to YF today. To be honest, i'm not in the right state of mind. I thought more on what i've done in 2011 than my results. I've been taking things too easy. I've never really worked hard my entire life. Everything was just happy-go-lucky. I didn't really know what i wanted in life. Studying to me was a chore, not a duty. Thing is, i've only experienced tough times in army and that's also probably the reason why i'm hating it. Because its tough. I've spent 3 years in jc and wasted those 3 years.

What should i do now? God, please help me.

Brian
3:18 PM


I feel really useless right now...

Brian
12:04 PM


Friday, March 2, 2012

There's only one question in my head right now.

What is the right decision?

Brian
10:35 PM


i can tell my dad's disappointed in me. I'm sorry, dad.

Brian
9:10 PM


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Back from camp once more. Good to be back, but that also means that the next book in i'll be going for my field camp. ahhhh so scared! i don't want to injure myself leh! erghhh. I just hope it isn't as bad as i think it would be, den i'd be happy.

This week has been a tough week. A very very tough week. Didn't managed to get my silver for ippt. 6seconds less for 2.4 and 2 more pullups. Doesn't really sound that difficult, but i still have to try hard for it nonetheless. Whole body is aching now, got a rather bad cough since monday. Bad sore throat as well, even when i swallow my saliva, it hurts.

Many things to do this weekend. Get extra stuff for field camp, many things that i want to do. And its all because i'll only be booking out on the sunday after field camp, which means i'll miss church AGAIN. Furthermore, after booking out on sunday, we're booking in on sunday AGAIN! Argh. We'll see how it goes. I just wanna sleep. So tired right now.

Collecting results tomorrow. Scared. I know i haven't been working hard last year and i should be mentally prepared for the worst. About what i should do if the results were as bad as i think. But at the end of everything, i still hope i collect with my results with a thankful heart because that is what God has given to me. I really hope i can do that tomorrow. Gotta pray.

Brian
9:34 PM


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